I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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