It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
