I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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