I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
