about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
