I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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