Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
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