my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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