I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He did a backflip because drugs
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
