Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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