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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect

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• (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".

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• (289): View more from Ontario

  She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this

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• (432): View more from Texas

  He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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• (239): View more from Florida

  While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.

  (323): View more from California

  After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.

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