Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
