On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just pee around me
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
