Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize