that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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