once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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