I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
