butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
