doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
