My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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