My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
