have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
worst night to have a conscience
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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