does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
