I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
