so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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