When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize