i think i have two assholes
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
