So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
