While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
