i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
