she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
