First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
