She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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