She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
