Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
