Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
