So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just high enough for therapy.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
