the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
