Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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