it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
