But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
