Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
