I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
