you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
