Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
