Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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