Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
