I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
