fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I currently don't understand fingers.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
