I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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