I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize