Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
