i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She bit a glass in half.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
