foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize