There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
