Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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