last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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