Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
2020 sucks, I want a refund
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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