You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
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right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
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seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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