Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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