she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize