i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize